Friday, September 21, 2007

More or Less

Computer . . . check

Wireless . . . check

Attitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

yeah sure, whatever. It is Friday night, fall is in the air. People are already lighting their wood stoves to take the chill off the cool nights. I love this time of year.

It has been quite a while since my last blog. I could give you 100 hundred reasons why, but it all boils down to a big ol' pot of self pity. Feeling sorry for myself.

Over the past 6 months it seems like I have one set back after another. Injury. Death. Re-injury. Shopping Therapy (its new, it works, temporarily). The decision to opt for permanent Spinster status. You get the pic right.

So here I sit - one revelation - though it is nothing new. It is all my choice. Sure I can logically assign reason to anything, but what for. Sometimes what is - is. No hidden meaning, no cause, no fault to be found - it just is. It is my choice to make it more or less.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

It is a gray sprinkly Saturday afternoon and I am visiting with my friend at the library - impressing the other patrons with the quick tippy tap of my keystrokes. Giggling at Chris who is isisting that I tell her where katie is running. Isn't she fun.

I have a purpose with my ramblings. It seems I have used every excuse in the book this week not to get out as intended. While, yes, I have had some physical issues (ie pain) I could have (should have) stayed faithful to my weight program. I should have gone to the gym more. I should have walked more (I did go x's 2 - see below), but I have let myself slip back into the pit (for you Beth Moore fans) after a week of clarity and closeness with the Lord. I hate it when I give strongholds any room to grow. And yet - I do.

I am so anxious to run miles upon miles, to climb to ride, to move, to feel the wind and the sun . . . this weeks lesson - now matter what the goal it is still anxiousness - anxiety. God tells us to be anxious for nothing. So I am putting this back at His ever capable feet, and laying this again in His strong, sheltering hands and praying that He shows me the way. It is so easy to be discouraged because I am still struggling with this injury. But then I remember - this is a path God is taking me down. It is His strength that will carry me, not my own. ugh.

Monday and Wednesday
1.5 miles
not even taking time at this point. I am just thankful to be moving.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Keepin' On...

It seems to be easier (of course) on my knee towalk/jog on a treadmill so I have resigned myself toworking out at the gym until it is healed. I don'twant to waste anymore time. This will let me build up my endurance and drop some more weight.

4/09/2007 1.5 miles 30 minutes 20 minute mile
4/11/2007 1.51 miles 30 minutes 19.90 mile

I was able to jog in the middle for 3 minutes before it was too much on my knee. A little frustrating because otherwise I could have done more. But it is ok. God is using this too.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

My leg is healing - had to do nothing to let it heal. It is still a bit tight but manageable.

Today was the first morning back after almost one month. It felt good but my time was a great disappointment. As hard as it felt like I was working I shouldv'e have beaten February's PR of a 17.5 minute mile.

I did not.

Try 22 minutes

I am posting my pre-training schedule and actual schedule and times. I will do this as I go along.

Accountability is good.


Week 1 (I will stay here until I get a 17 minute mile back)
3 days 30 minutes each
17-20 minute mile pace

Arpil 4, 2007
1.5 miles / 34 minutes
22.67 minute mile

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Should've Been the First Posting

I am a 31 year old overweight woman.

That might be the first time I have ever referred to myself as a 'woman,' but it is true. I am not a girl, or a young lady. I don't know that I fit into the young woman category . . . so there it is - woman. It's not a bad thing. It just is.

I am thankful to be out of my twenties, an era of struggling to learn how to survive and fleeing from anything that posed a threat to my existence (bad or good). Maintaining 'status quo' was an artform I desperately wanted to master. Calm waters in my ripple-less pond. There in lies the problem. No motion leads to stagnant water, nothing coming in and nothing going out. I think you get the picture.

Looking back I wasn't running from responsibility - I am responsible. I wasn't running from adulthood, or my family . . . I was running from myself. More than that, I was running from God and His plan for my life.

This background information is crucial in understanding the seemingly insane endeavour I am about to undertake. January 13, 2008 I am going to run a marathon. Put your eyes back in their sockets and pick your chin up from the floor. Sounds crazy doesn't it. While I have lost around 70 lbs. in the last year (almost) I have at least that much to go before I can "Train." Right now I am nursing an injury and 'Pre-Training.' I have to be at a 17 minute mile with fuel to spare by May. Please pray for me.

The following pretty much sums up my thoughts on running and this journey. It is a portion of an email I sent to my sister in the midst of discouragement. I am posting it here as a reminder to myself more than anything else.

Running is not defined by your speed or your grace; your lean muscle mass, or genetic makeup. It is a willful act. It is dedication. It is discipline. Some days it might be a 10 minute mile, others it might be an 18. Today you will struggle, tomorrow you will fly. Make no mistakes - running is not something that will eventually be easy. As you progress you will push yourself harder and farther than you did yesterday. Running is progressive. It is not selfish. It gives back what you give it. It is not easily angered. It does not boast. It does not mock or belittle. Run a little, it encourages you to run more. Running is subjective to the runner. Running is time spent with you Maker. It is a connection to the sound of your breath, the beating of your heart, and the rhythm of your feet (feat). Running is sanity.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Running Woes

While I would absolutely love to start off with a positive note - present circumstances forbid it - but I will try to end on one. I have somehow in someway (read - overtraining) injured my calf/hamstring and the road to recovery seems longer than the 26.2 miles I will attempt in January 2008. If you are reading this please pray for a speedy recovery. I tried my usual Sunday trek up Airport Road (very steep) yesterday. The going up was good. I took it easy and only went half way up - knowing I have barely been able to walk over the last 3 weeks or so. Half way down I was praying for someone to drive by (5:30am, not so likely) and save me. So it is back to heat and ice, Ibuprofen (my friend) and praying for divine intervention. I will hit the gym this week and focus on weight training and the elyptical so there will be little stress on the injury(s). Ughh!

Lessons Learned:
1. Know the definition of "over use."
2. Don't push myself so hard (easier said than done)
3. Follow the training schedule. It will save me from this again.
4. God has a purpose in this too.